Life with the Big Blue

يا أبا فيصل - رثاء الملك فهد بن عبدالعزيز رحمه الله

2005-10-23T17:19:00.000-07:00

للشاعر :غازي القصيبي

لَمْ نَجدهُ... وقيل: «هذا الفِراقُ!»
فاستجارت بدمعِها الأحداقُ
كانَ ملءَ العيون فهدٌ... فما
حِجّةُ عينٍ دُموعها لا تُراقُ؟!
*
عَجبَ النعشُ من سكون المُسجَّى
وهوَ من عاش لم ينلهُ وِثاقُ
عَجبَ القبرُ... حين ضمّ الذي
ضاقت بما في إهابه الآفاقُ
عجبَ الشوطُ... والجياد قليلٌ...
كيف يهوي جَواده السبّاقُ
*
هدرت حولك الجموعُ وماجتْ
مثل بحرٍ... والتفّتِ الأعناقُ
هو يومُ الوفاءِ... حبّ بحزنٍ
نتساقاهُ... والكؤوسُ دهاقُ
وقفَ الموتُ في الطريق... ولكنْ
زحفتْ... لا تخافُهُ... الأشواقُ
*
يا أبا فيصلٍ! عليك سلامُ الله...
ما خالجَ القلوبَ اشتياقُ

Bush to Blair: First Iraq, then Saudi

2005-10-20T16:40:00.000-07:00

"George Bush told the Prime Minister two months before the invasion of Iraq that Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Iran and North Korea may also be dealt with over weapons of mass destruction, a top secret Downing Street memo shows."
Full Story

It's funny how rediculous these "leaked" memos could get.......

BOOASH.......WAISH estefadt min 3'azoo al3raaag??........Ma kaffook elly warrook njoom al-9'e7a bal-falloojah wella elly tsammoonh "the Sunni triangle"? Yal-3'ebi!!..........yal-Mejrim!........yal-7maaar!.........Ya Geleel Al-Adab!!.........EHEBB ya Wajheh!! .........BOOASH.....Allah ye6'herk min al-Ardh w'ye36eek al-3goobah elly ma te56eek!!!

(make sure your speakers are working and your surroundings are friendly when you click on this link)

Wa7id MRI wa7id cola ya m3allim!...Bsur3ah law sama7t!

2005-10-20T16:38:00.000-07:00

I just had my very first MRI scan of my lower back area in an Alexandria clinic......I never knew it could take this fast and be this cheap!!.....It costs hundreds and even thousands of dollars and requires a long waitlist elsewhere.....but in Al-Saraya hosptial.....all u need is a paper from the spinal cord consultant and the next thing you know: ur laying on a rotating rectangular pad with a huge plate on top of it, listening to constant fart-like tunes for 40 minutes!

I'll go to pick up the results tonight at 11pm-2am inshallah........He refused to give me an appointment,,,,,,,you gotta love the Egyptians' flexibility when it comes to time!
Total cost of consultation and MRI scan: 60+350 = 410 Egyptian pounds = approx. 41 British pounds!
Total wait time: 30 minutes (which bought me time to go get some cash from the ATM!)

Saudi Students Facing Exchange Rate Issues in Europe

2005-10-03T10:03:00.000-07:00

جناية "الدولار" على السعوديين في الخارج: كيف نصف "الفقر" في غربة المبتعثين

قينان عبدالله الغامدي

سأبقى اليوم مع المبتعثين، وسأتحدث عن مشكلة تخص الغالبية منهم، سبق أن كتبت عنها في هذا العمود، ولم تحدث استجابة، وعندما أقول الغالبية منهم فإنني أقصد جميع المبتعثين خارج أمريكا، فهؤلاء جميعاً تصرف مكافآتهم بالدولار، ومعروف أن سعر الدولار يتراجع أمام العملات الأخرى، فهذا طالب مبتعث في فرنسا يقول إن الـ 1200 دولار التي تصرفها وزارة التعليم العالي له تتراجع عند الصرف إلى 800 يورو أو نحوها، وفي المقابل تتزايد أسعار السكن والمواد الاستهلاكية والغذائية، وفاتورة الكهرباء ستصل إلى الضعف خلال الشتاء القادم، فماذا يفعلون؟ لقد بدأ بعضهم هناك يبحثون عن عمل على الرغم من صعوبة التوفيق بينه وبين الدراسة، وهذا يعني إطالة أمد البعثة، في ظل عدم الاستجابة بزيادة المكافأة، أو على الأقل تثبيت سعر الصرف.وهذا طالب مبتعث آخر ـ إلى بريطانيا يتحدث عن نفس المعاناة ويقول "أود أن أذكرك أنكم تحتفلون باليوم الوطني ونحن هنا لضيق الحال لم نستطع الذهاب إلى السفارة للمبايعة فكيف بالاحتفال"، وهذا ثالث من ألمانيا يقول" لم نطلب المساواة بمنح دول الجوار مثل الإمارات والكويت فذلك ضرب من الجنون، لكن نتمنى مساواتنا بمنح بعض الدول العربية الأخرى غير البترولية"، وهذا رابع من كندا يقول "ندرك أن التعليم باهظ التكلفة، لكن فاتورة الجهل أعظم وأقسى على المدى الطويل".ولا أريد أن استطرد فالشكوى عامة، لذا فإنني أرجو من وزير التعليم العالي الدكتور خالد العنقري أن يعطي الأمر ما يستحقه من اهتمامه الشخصي، وبصورة عاجلة، وأن يؤخذ هذا الأمر في الحسبان مع الجيل الجديد من المبتعثين الذين بعثتهم الوزارة هذا العام. هؤلاء المبتعثون يشتكون من الفقر يا دكتور، وإذا كان الفقر في الوطن غربة، فكيف يكون الفقر في غربة المبتعث

Anonymous Confessions

2005-10-02T09:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever done a horrible thing and feel like taking it off your chest? Are you bored or frustrated and need a laugh at other people's misery? Is it that you simply can't find a group hug when you need one? Check this site out:

http://www.grouphug.us/

Yana Al-Hewaa Yaaana

2005-09-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

Another post written in Oman:

Swahili is almost an second official language in Oman. Most of the people who speak it come from Zanzibar/Zinjibar, an island off the coast of Tanzania once ruled by Omani dynasties. Almost all of them trace their roots back to Omani ancestors but some do have African blood in them. Sometimes they're derogatorily referred to as "Zinjibariyyeen". Good People, though!

The African connection is not always obvious. Some of them would look like Me7mas al-3taiibi or Njir al-Bgomi but would go: OGA BUGA MOMBA SAKALAWLAW as soon as he meets one of his kind.

Mohammed Badar, Marmul's Quality, Health, Safety, and Environment (QHSE) officer. A Swahili speaking Omani and also a great person.

w'Yana el-hewaaa yaaaaaaaanaaaaiii……..yaaanaiii min ZINJIBAAAAR!

The Nose-Kissing Problem

2005-09-27T08:51:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: this post was not written under the influence of mind-altering substances.

Visitors of Arabia are always confused by how homosexual the behaviors of traditional Arab men could seem, like holding hands and public embraces. However, perhaps one of the most revolting sites to foreigners is nose-kissing. Two men would stick their noses together then make kissing sounds with their lips. In certain cases, one would kiss somebody else's nose. Kissing somebody's nose is a sign of respect and a recognition of superiority. Look at the figure below for clarification.

hey...don't look at me that way!......i find it repelling too.....neither myself nor any member of my extended family do it.....

In the oilfield you run into interesting cultural phenomena. One of them I like to call: "the Nose-Kissing problem". Since workers in oil locations are required to wear PPE (Personal Protective Equipment), which include hard-hats, nose-kissing ability is impaired. See the illustration below.

Nose-kissing attempt with hard-hats, introducing the nose-kissing problem

The Nose kissing hard-hat trick!

The Omani Bedouins, being the brilliant problem-solvers they are, came up with a solution to this problem. It's simple! One party would tilt their heads to one side and the other would stand steadily to graciously receive the traditional greeting. Unfotunately, I couldn't convince any of my colleagues to perform the trick on camera!

By the way, I got an answer to why oil locations are given female names in Oman....cuz they're full of sexually-deprived men who are there to drill holes! :-p

Gay Omani Oil Wells

2005-09-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help but notice the benign (mostly feminine) names of Omani oil regions. You'd have to understand Arabic to notice.

Oil Regions in Saud Arabiai: Haradh, Shedgum, Udhailiyah, Shaibah,Khufff, AbGAIG, Tanajeeb, Khrais, Barri, ZULUF, Ghawwar, Hawtah

Oil Regions in Oman: Amal, Al-Noor, Bahja, Reema, Osfoor, Rajaa, Zomorrod, Kaukab, Raihan, Naseem, Salwa, Zahra..........and many more......the list goes on

I guess it's because our regions were named by Bedouins whereas their regions were named by the government. Can you imagine a Bedouin calling a place Zomorrod? Well, maybe their badoo were gay.....Allahu A3lam....

Speaking of gayness,,,,,Omanis' reputation among expats is not of sexual purity......my Canadian manager told me about the "famous Omani saying": "women are for children and men are for fun"...........I gave him that "aiiiiiiiiish 3arrrafak?????!" look........

Another Omani saying:
اذا جاك مطوع صغير....ف شل وزارك وطير....
واذا جاك مطوع كبير....ف غطي فقحتك بحصير!!
وسلامتكم
Comments very welcome....

Marmul, Oman

2005-09-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

Marmul, home of the company's 2nd base in Oman. When I first knew I'd be sent here instead of Mexico (due to visa processing complications), I thought of it as just another remote desert location that nobody wants to go to. But now that I've spent about 2 weeks here, I wouldn't mind working here for a few years.

In a way, this remote PDO post is like Dhahran in the 1950's or Haradh nowadays, just an oil camp with a number of pumps, rigs, hoists, and an ugly small town surrounding it.

The closest major Omani city is Salalah, which is a 3 hours drive to the south-west. You could spot Marmul (mid-south, above Salalah) on the map shown below.

Breathtaking Scenery!

The logo of PDO (Petroleum Development of Oman) at the entrance of their Marmul camp. Sometimes it makes me realize how great Aramco really was compared to other national oil companies.

Marmul's bar in disguise, dubbed: the White House by the Mutawwas, Code named: Rig#1 by the sarabeet.

I arrived at Nimr Airport (one hour drive from Marmul), which was my frist experience landing on a gravel air strip! Not a good idea to cut costs, if you ask me!

Baggage Claim, Passenger Pickup, and Car rentals, tourist info.....etc.

The weather here is really nice, contrary to what you would think of a desert location in the month of August. It could be 1 or 2 o'clock in the afternoon on an August day and you'd still feel alright walking outside. I think it's the elevation that's bringing all the fresh breezes.

I like my Omani coworkers. I never knew Omanis were this cool. I get their jokes, they get mine. It's like mixing Saudi with Yemen then adding some African influence as garnish.
The engineers I work with (1 Canadian middle-aged guy, a Vietnamese dude, an Indonesian bro, and a Nigerean lady) are alright too but they're too busy to be nice and helpful. There's SO MUCH to learn and you really need to ask many questions to know what's going on!

My Vietnamese friend Viet (aka V6)

My operator buddy Nassir al-Tubi (aka 2 piece)

Another cool operator: Mohd. Al-Mahri. His first language is Mahri which sounds like arabic in reverse. Bellah ma ythakkirkum b'shabab althugbah? Just add 6agiyyah+thoob+kabak thahabi+ditsin 3alaih sticker "special",,,, and u've got urself a typical Saudi street cruiser. He told me Saudi Jawazat guys wouldn't believe he was Omani when he was crossing the infamous bridge to Bahrain.

Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to see Muscat. I arrived exhausted on the night of the 23rd of August then had to leave to Marmul the next morning. Check out the trashy hotel I to had stay at in Muscat (Ruwi Hotel).

Busy Busy Busy!

2005-08-29T00:05:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone.........no time to "filosofize"......elaikum tafa9eel alnashrah......

As for Oman........it's GREAT......wait for my proof-read posts with photos about the experience.

Al-Rasmi Dray7im and Al-Shayeb Abu-Dhbaiban (aka Monkey the Lizard) just came back from Beirut, where they spent their annual vacation. Abu-dhbaiban was probably looking for a second wife already :-p.

Krayyim the Benakhi has been enjoying the food (but probably nothing else) in his french crew of ARGAS in the wonderful fields of Khurais. The company was generous enough to employ both a lebanese and french chef as part of the exploration crew. The best from two sides of the world!
I came accross Aziz Al-Naim's article about marriage in our society, titled "Clanilism & CO". I've always liked Aziz's writings, especially about $$ and analysis of phenomena in Saudi society. I hope you guys enjoy your road trip in the States.

Hamad Al-Mhawwis, Arnold Schwartznegger of Dhahran Hills has published his first online book about exercise and nutrition which he decided to call: The Retard's Guide to A Better Body. Very informative and funny! Also check out his blog for more enlightenment. May god shake you ya 7amad! 9edag min sammak mhawwis!

As you could see, I've been procrastinating by browsing other people's sites. Remember final exams week? I'm going through the same type of stress, sleepless nights and procrastination habits these days!

London Layover

2005-08-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

London.....It feels like the capital of the world. As a "Visit Britian" brochure put it: "London: a Thing for Everyone!". I agree, as it is hard to find a person regradless of gender, relegion, race, or language that does not find London appealing in one way or another.

Arab tourists are still abundandt, although I have expected their numbers to sharply decline after the London bombings, but it seems like nothing could keep these people from spending lavishly on annual purchases from Oxford St. and and bastardized, overpriced Middle Eastern food from Edgware St. restaurants. I could understand people staying in London for a few weeks, visiting museums and doing some shopping here and there. But what fun could you get out of doing the SAME things every single day in such a depressingly cloudy metropolis! Gulf Arab tourists here belong to different age groups, but the ones that stick out the most are seasoned shopping ladies who find refreshment is emptying fat wallets and wealthy middle-aged, sexually deprived, irresponsibly-drinking men roaming the streets.

I was lucky to have my one-day layover in London on a Sunday, it was speaker's corner day in Hyde Park. Time to watch clowns from all over the arab world mocking each other's countries! There were also various religious and political debates but the bulk of them had something to do with Arabs or Islam. The Iraqi debates were, by far, the most interesting and civilized ones!

Iraqis Debating @ Hyde Park. I was so busy trying to film this scene that I forgot to take a decent photo of it.

The best part about Landing on Sunday, however, was that Mohammed R. had the day off (the twins' brother, aka Dallal Al-Begar or Al-Muqni3 or Ba33a9 Al-Ajwa2). Sultan S. (aka Qethran al-6amL or da PIMP) was also there chillin' with his "Aramco camp hommies".

The bus crew in Hyde Park (www.Tharafah.com)

www.Tharafah.com/Bus

www.Tharafah.com/Sogman

Had to go through this station twice in less than 24 hours.

Very convenient!

Bush International Airport (Houston)

2005-08-22T23:22:00.000-07:00

I will be in 4 countries in less than 48 hours. USA, UK, Bahrain, and Oman. A 24-hour layover in London will be hopefully be refreshing.

I am yet to exprience real oilfield work. The last 2 weeks have been so good I could hardly call them work! I don't think three weeks in the Omani desert will feel the same, though.

British Airways is having issues with its catering company in London. It might even qualify as a strike. Passengers flying in or out of London-Heathrow were given meal vouchers since there are no meals onborad the jets. A good deal unless you consider airplane food worth more than $20?

"The Silence The Precedes the Storm"

2005-08-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

Here I am in my hotel room, after more than 10 hours of sleep, waiting for my career destiny to uncover. I have so many things I need to do, yet feel like doing nothing. I'm in one of those moods where I just want to sit there and wait for natural deadline pressure to kick in. Check out the map shown below indicating the places I plan to visit in the near future.

Snapshots from Kellyville Driving School

2005-08-18T20:26:00.000-07:00

Ta7fee6 Sessions on the "Skid Pads". Water is sprinkled on the jennite-coated asphalt pad to simulate black ice. The purpose of this exercise is to teach us how to deal with locked wheels (car moving but wheels not rotating). A student is shown the difference between rear-wheel and front-wheel locks. Usually the locked wheels will tend to lead, which means rear-wheel locks will involve spinning and front wheel locks will not. One of the most fun "learning" experience I've ever had! (email me if you want to receive a video clip of the cars actually spinning)

A few Crown Vics lined up, waiting to be abused by students enjoying the skid pad.

A view of the vans we used for our "commentary drives" on the streets of Oklahoma. Commentary drives consist of driving while commenting on every single incident that happens on the road. Very distracting and pointless IMHO.

The great SkidSim truck. In this monster, a driving instructor gets to test your skid control abilities (AGAIN) by controlling the rear wheels of the pick up with a joystick! Muy cool!

SkidSim from Inside. I was taking the picture while another guy almost ran us down a hill while taking the test. YEL3AN UMM EL3'ASHAAMAH YA 7OSAM!

A wireline logging truck from behind.

A wireline truck in the horizon. I'll be spending most of my time in these babies!

Taf7ee6 Training

2005-08-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

I'm loving this! We're spending about 3 hours learning how to deal with different skidding scenareos on a "skid-pad", which is basically asphalt coated with a substance called "genite" that simulates black ice when it's wet (up to 80% simulation accuracy).
Again, YEL3AN UMM ELFALLAH YA 7OSAM! 8-)

More updates later